You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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