he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
