Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
