I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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