hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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