She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Drake has all the answers
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
