Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
