I think I died a long time ago.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
