Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
