Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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