I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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