Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
