Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
