woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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