Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
