i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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