im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
