Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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