It was confusing and full of hummus
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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