; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
