Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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