grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
