Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
