We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
