I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
