They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
