and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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