Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
