Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
