i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
