My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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