my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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