oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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