Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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