i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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