Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize