the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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