A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
