I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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