I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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