you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
