Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
