you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just pee around me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize