My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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