loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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