If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We were destined to go to rehab together
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
