my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
