I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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