I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
