sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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