be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
