1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
