Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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