If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
