mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
