He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
