I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
