Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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