they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
